I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
