and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She's the barista slut.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
