We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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