i was born a porn star she said
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
