i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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