she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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