the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
