Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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