my being single is dangerous.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
