just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I am puke
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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