I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
