Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
