those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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