he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
