Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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