I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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