i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
