Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize