Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
