I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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