Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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