Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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