Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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