Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
