I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize