Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize