you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
