One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you had me at cake vodka
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
