i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
