at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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