i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I smell like Dick and happiness
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
