I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
