rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
