I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
