K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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