oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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