Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
