It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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