You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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