we made out on top of his cat.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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