so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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