i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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