Plan B is the new Plan A
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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