Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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