Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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