I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
