We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
