Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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