you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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