he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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