My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
