so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
