So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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