Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
