Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
