Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize