Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
did you just send me my own nude
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
