If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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