Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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