We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
