I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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