You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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