They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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