worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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