good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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