Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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