i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
