It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Found the puke drawer
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize