Dual....:-)
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
