Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
