I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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