I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
