At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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