careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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