It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
