The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
either way he was missing a nipple.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Are we still banned from the library?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
